Dance Like Someone IS Watching But You Don’t Give a Fuck

I remember when Thriller came out in 1983. I remember going to TJ McFly’s in Carbondale because it was easy to get into without an i.d.  I remember the dance floor. I remember where the big TV was. I remember the guy I had a crush on who I met there.  I think his name was Rod. I think all of that is true. What I also remember is that my friends and I learned the dance steps for Thriller and that’s how we danced when the song came on.  

But now, having started to learn the actual choreography, I think we knew maybe one or two steps.  And we probably looked great—I mean, we weren’t 20 yet. We were shaking our booties. We looked fine.  But we didn’t look like the Thriller dancers except in my head. 

And why am I learning the choreography? Specifically, it was to prepare for today, for an event called Thrill the World.  Locally, we did Thrill the World River Valley, and it was a fundraiser for the Spring Green Community Library and River Valley ARTS (full disclosure—I am a board member of RV ARTS). 

Our local Thrill the World page had a spot where you could sign up to be a fundraiser, which I did. To be honest, I thought lots more local folks would.  I was anticipating lots of fundraisers and lots of dancers.  There WERE lots of dancers!  Which is remarkable, because in my opinion, it’s a ridiculously difficult dance.  

I do like to dance, and I like to have a few little dance breaks during the day as part of my pomodoro process. But I haven’t GONE OUT DANCING for a long time.  I did all through college, and then graduate school. 

My favorite two people to dance with EVER were my friends Dennis and Maria.  Dennis was like a grandfather clock with multiple sets of arms and legs coming unsprung approximately in time to the music.  I loved dancing with him (at a little remove, for safety’s sake) because it was a joyous thing, watching him dance.  Then my friend Maria, a lot of times, her dance was kind of just rhythmic surfing. I was just sure between the two of them out there that absolutely no one would be looking at me and my little girlie moves. You know—“dance like no one is watching.” No one was watching. They were watching Dennis and Maria.

But of course, we should dance like people are watching and we just don’t give a fuck.

Which is what I did today. One of the reasons I signed up to be a fundraiser was because—well, it was a fundraiser. And good organizations were set to receive the funds. And I’m a board member of one of those organizations. Etc.

The other reason I signed up to be a fundraiser was to go public with my intention to dance in public and follow through with it.  I was worried I’d chicken out (and that’s even before I started watching the tutorials and learned how freaking hard the freaky steps are). 

Why would I chicken out? Well. My health is not fantastic. I’m ridiculously out of shape. I have asthma. And I’m in physical therapy for back pain. My spine has an official diagnosis to go with its damages and deformities, but I just like to think of it as having a rickety spiral staircase where all the helpful bones and cartilage should be. Movement wears me out and there’s a particular pain in my lower back I’m very familiar with and sometimes my hamstrings just SEIZE UP.  But my awesome PT guy prescribed more activity, and this seemed like awesome activity.

So I did it. I watched the tutorial videos and went to an in-person practice.  It wasn’t a stunning success leading up to today.  I can free-form dance for 3-5-7 minutes without falling over, and I’ve been diligently working my way up to doing multiple minutes of the official Thriller dance steps, but an hour of mostly standing and repeating dance steps—that I couldn’t do. So I did a lot of from a chair.  Which, you know.  Not my vision of myself.

But damn it, I did it.  Did I get all the steps down and do the whole thing?  No I did not.  Did I begin the whole thing by writhing on the street? Also no.

But here’s what I did do. I sat in a chair near the dance spot, and by the time the street writhers were standing, I was in line with them. I did the steps I’d learned: I zombie marched. I shoulder stepped. I booty bounced. I swam. And then I (kind of did what I was supposed to) and finally  right-hipped and left-hipped and roared my way away from the dancers and into the crowd of people watching.

My son got off from his retail job in time to step outside and watch. He assured me I didn’t embarrass him, and that I wasn’t the zombie LEAST ACQUAINTED with the actual steps. 

But even if I’d embarrassed my son, even I had been the zombie least acquainted, I’d still have done it. 

And I’m really proud of myself.  Grateful to the people who donated to my little personal fundraising page. Grateful to Stef and Phil, the zombie bride and groom.  It was their actual wedding day today, and they did this as part of their reception.  Too cool.

I’m reminded of Teddy Roosevelt, the “man in the arena” quote. Not that anyone has criticized me to my face, or would, but this part (even with the old-fashioned gendered pronouns) really resonates: 

“The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” 

It wasn’t blood and dust on my face; it was makeup and baby powder to make me look pale. If we do it again next year (and I’m hearing we will), I hope to see more of those folks who were on the sidelines getting out there and booty bouncing along.

(If you want to donate to my little fundraiser page, you still can—I put the deadline down as Halloween.  And remember—it’s my little spot, but the funds raised are going to the Spring Green Community Library and River Valley ARTS.)