I once came upon my cousin Reid practicing different ways to say “no.” He was 3 or 4 at the time. “No, I couldn’t possibly,” he said. “Absolutely not.”
He was onto something, that little ‘un. At least in my family, saying no takes practice.
Saying no? I’m big on it. Sometimes I’m even good at it. I certainly like the IDEA of saying no.
I’ve written about a fair number of times:
“How do I do that? How do I become the sort of person who says no to things?”
Clitter-Clatter Clutter Time , which references two terrific posts by my favorite tattooed Lutheran blogger, Nadia Bolz Weber, “The Spiritual Practice of Saying No,” and its companion piece, “The Spiritual Practice of Saying Yes!”
The Sarcastic Lutheran says, “The people who are inclined to say yes to everything do all the work and then burn out and become resentful about the people who are inclined to say no to everything. It’s as though the world is divided into martyrs and slackers.”
I don’t make a very good martyr or slacker, either one, not for very long.
I worked enough 50+ hours this spring semester, I worry my slacker credentials are in danger of not being renewed.
Busy as I’ve been, I’m nowhere close to martyrdom. I have some regrets, but I don’t regret all of the times I said yes. (Or came up with something to do that no one even asked me to do.)
Recent things that added to my to do list that I am particularly happy to locate in the land of “yes!”:
- In addition to volunteering in my son’s classroom at the River Valley Elementary Studio School a couple hours a week, presenting a lesson on storytelling, with a way of talking about narrative arc that was a big hit.
- Leading the Westby Co-Op Credit Union Board of Directors and branch managers in creativity exercises.
- Serving as a (paid) reader for writing sample/placement tests for incoming UW-R students, and as a local developmental writing coordinator (unpaid).
In general, I am unrealistic about how the number of things I try to get done will fit into the number of available hours, and I don’t necessarily do things in the right order (which sometimes does and sometimes does not qualify as procrastination).
Thus, some of my commitments (such as returning student work promptly) suffered this spring, and probably, saying “yes” to new stuff impacted the ongoing stuff.
In general, I need to parse, pare, and prune my To Do list.
So, in one way, I totally get Kevin Ashton’s “Creative People Say No.”
He is right that “We do not have enough time as it is. There are groceries to buy, gas tanks to fill, families to love and day jobs to do.”
And he is right that “Time is the raw material of creation.”
Time is a precious resource. It must be guarded. I get it.
But wow did that blog post bug me.
(more on page 2!)
You “come by it honestly” but I believe you’re figuring it out much sooner than I did – great!
This kind of reminds me of Mrs. Reagan’s “Just say no” drug campaign back in the 1980s…LOL..I have gotten to the point where if I feel like doing something, fine, if not fine. Guess with age comes a certain amount of wisdom/ignorance/just don’t careitis…LOL…Keep up the wonderful work! I get exhausted just reading your “done” list. Can’t imagine what is still left to do…
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